


1800-GET-REKT

by doggoneit



Series: Rekt [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Drunk Texting, Humor, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doggoneit/pseuds/doggoneit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I see you like it Between the Sheets.”</p><p>“I beg your pardon?”</p><p>“Your drink. It’s good stuff but I’m more of a Blowjob kinda guy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1800-GET-REKT

**Author's Note:**

> 4/1/16: Revised (and the format is d/m/y lmao)

Tsukishima's cocktail sat half-finished on the bar while he scrolled through his social media feed for updates on the volleyball championship finals. His friends’ team had been playing against their long-time rivals tonight, but he hadn’t been able to watch the tail end of the game because of unintended overtime at work.

Working with a boss who was incapable of telling time sucked balls to the highest degree and Tsukishima couldn’t wait for the day he gained enough experience to apply for a job with better prospects and throw his resignation in his boss’ face. It was a terrible environment and every week Tsukishima spoiled himself with a cold drink at the bar to ease the mounting anger issues.

“Shit,” Tsukishima muttered as he read through the results of the tournament and felt his heart sink. The first drink of the night might have to be accompanied by a second, and a third, and maybe a fourth, because Fukurodani had lost the finals.

 

> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  sorry about the championship, guys
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  IM MAD AS ALL HELL BUT U KNOW WHAT IM GUNNA KEEP TRAINING TILL MY HAIR FALLS OUT AND THEN IM GUNNA WHIP NEKOMAS ASSES
> 
> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Thank you for your sympathy, Tsukishima.
> 
> **Yamaguchi Tadashi**  
>  @tsukki u owe me ten bucks
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  YOU BET AGAINST US YAMAGUCHI???? U POO  
>  TSUKKI WHY ARENT U HOME  
>  COME DRINK W US  
>  DROWN OUR SORROWS
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  already at the bar having one for you guys

 

“I see you like it Between the Sheets.”

The voice next to him gave him a start. When Tsukishima processed the intention behind the words, he chose not to turn around and spoke sweetly through gritted teeth. “I beg your pardon?”

“Your drink.” The man sat on the next stool and bounced his legs, which were clad in red track pants. “It’s good stuff but I’m more of a Blowjob kinda guy.”

Tsukishima barely caught his jaw from dropping onto the counter. The sheer _nerve_ of this guy—not even the most forward of strangers in the dirtiest of bars had ever spoken to him in such a crass manner.

“You’ll have to ask the bartender for one.” Tsukishima made a show of returning focus to his phone, flicking through various pictures captured of both teams during the tournament, and ignored the huff of laughter next to him.

“You’re looking at the Fukurodani and Nekoma game. You like volleyball?”

“No, I’m looking at the game because I’m trying to impress hotshot volleyball players,” Tsukishima said, not stopping the sarcasm bleeding into his tone. His cold demeanour was usually enough to warn suitors away, but when that failed he always had his abrasive nature to scare them off.

It didn’t work.

“I happen to be a hotshot volleyball player, so consider me impressed. I think you might feel the same way if you could tear your eyes off your phone for a second and look at me.”

Tsukishima snorted. “Don’t tell me. Your good looks are going to knock my socks off.”

“My devilishly handsome face will blow you away, and if that doesn’t do the trick then I’m going to have to fall back on cheesy volleyball lines to get your attention.”

Tsukishima was tempted to ask what the lines were (no doubt Bokuto would get a laugh or several out of it) but his bad mood was still grumbling about and he just wanted to drink alone. Telling the man face-to-face under no uncertain terms would get the message across, so Tsukishima sighed like he was doing the man a great favour and twisted in his stool.

It was a mistake.

“You’re—” he began.

_Hot._

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he blurted out instead because he had a mind-to-mouth filter and wouldn’t be caught dead making a fool of himself like that. “Captain of Nekoma. Newly crowned champions.”

Kuroo grinned and crossed his thick, muscular arms. Tsukishima followed the flex of his biceps a little too closely and suddenly his throat was a little too dry. He grabbed his glass and gulped half the contents, not that it helped quench his thirst at all.

“At your service.” Kuroo winked. “And your name is?”

Tsukishima took a moment to weigh the pros and cons of telling Kuroo. Since it was a rather one-sided list, he said, “Tsukishima Kei.”

 

> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  guess who’s hitting on me at the bar  
>  kuroo tetsurou lmao
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  wtf  
>  NEKOMA???  
>  DONT GIVE HIM UR NUMBER!!!

 

“This must be fate,” Kuroo purred, inching closer so that their knees bumped together. “I can’t think of a more perfect way to meet. I’m riding off the high from championships and you’re more than welcome to ride me off into the night.”

Tsukishima choked on his spit.

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” he coughed into his glass. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Actually I’m trying to pick you up. How about it?” Kuroo waggled his eyebrows. “We could head off back to my place and have a good old-fashioned romp on my counter, on my couch, in my bed and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. You like waffles?”

“Not if you make them on the counter we had sex on.” Tsukishima shifted his legs so that they were nestled between Kuroo’s, and began running his foot up and down the back of Kuroo’s calves. “I’m quite tempted to run off with you but there’s just one little problem...”

There was no holding back the pleased grin on Kuroo’s face. Whatever it was, he believed they could work things out. "What is it?"

“You crushed Fukurodani and I lost ten bucks to my roommate. I’m quite mad at you right now.”

“Ooh.” Kuroo rested his hand on Tsukishima’s thigh, his calloused fingers rubbing soothing circles into his skin. “That’s too bad. Though I gotta say their setter wasn’t at the top of his game today. He tossed quite a few bad ones.”

Tsukishima pursed his lips and shifted his leg away from Kuroo’s hand, moving it even farther when Kuroo tried to follow. He fixed a baleful glare on the volleyball player and said, “Akaashi Keiji happens to be a friend of mine.”

“Oh.” Kuroo scratched his messy hair. “That’s awkward. Well, their ace was kinda down in the dumps for the last part of the game. He didn't have his head in it and that’s a pity because he usually plays a lot better.”

“Bokuto Koutarou is also a friend of mine.”

“I am digging myself into a very deep hole here,” Kuroo muttered. His legs began bouncing again. “Is there anyone on Fukurodani I can critique without offending you?”

“Nope.” Tsukishima finished off the last of his drink and set the glass down. “As much as I’d like to head to your place, fraternising with the enemy isn’t on the agenda tonight, not when I have two droopy owls waiting for me at home. You’ll have to take a raincheck.”

“What about tomorrow?” Kuroo asked hopefully.

“I could be persuaded,” Tsukishima said. He peered at Kuroo from underneath long lashes and ran his finger around the rim of his empty glass. “Maybe if you were kind enough to buy me a second drink, I might give you my number and we could work something out.”

A predator's smile split Kuroo's face. He moved forward with the grace of a hunting cat and nuzzled his nose into Tsukishima's temple, lips whispering just a breath away from his ear. “Tell me what you want, darling.”

“I can’t resist the good stuff,” Tsukishima murmured, returning an affectionate nudge. “Whiskey, top shelf.”

Kuroo chuckled, a deep rumble in his chest that shook Tsukishima to the core. If it felt this good against him now, how much better would it feel even closer, a body that was all hard planes and firm muscle and sensual undulations?

Tsukishima would never admit to the tiny whine that slipped out of his throat. Luckily, Kuroo didn't seem to hear it.

“You have expensive tastes, don’t you?”

“You wouldn’t get my number otherwise.”

Tsukishima plucked a pen from his breast pocket and scribbled on a napkin as Kuroo ordered. He folded the napkin into quarters and pressed it to his lips in imitation of a kiss, hiding a coy smile behind the paper as Kuroo’s gaze bored into him, hungry and wanting.

The whiskey came, and Tsukishima moved slowly to push the napkin deep into Kuroo’s pocket. When he withdrew his hand, he trailed the back of his fingers over the bulge in Kuroo’s pants and whispered, “Thanks for the drink.”

“T-Tha—uh, yeah.” Kuroo's eyes darted to a larger table where the rest of his team, no doubt, sat decked out in their signature red. Once the rest of Nekoma realised they’d been caught looking, they ducked their heads and pretended to converse with each other.

So they’d had an audience all along.

Tsukishima quirked a smile and gave a tiny wave of farewell. “You better get back to your team before they think I’ve stolen you for the night. You should be celebrating with them, not some stranger you want to hook up with at a bar.”

“I’m more inclined to spend time with you,” Kuroo said, but after reaching out and giving Tsukishima's thigh a quick goodbye squeeze, he did as he was told and swaggered back to his team who cheered and teased.

“Nice one, man!”

“Didn’t think you could do it.”

“Lucky dog!”

“Put his number in your phone.” One of the younger players with spiky brown hair and eager eyes piped up. “You don’t want to lose it or anything.”

Hearing that, Tsukishima downed the whiskey in one go, ignoring the burn in his throat (and god it was punishment because a fine drink like that was supposed to be _savoured_ ) and fled towards the door.

The screech of indignation rocketed through the air and made all the patrons turn their heads to its source. Kuroo stared at the napkin in complete and utter betrayal while his team was in shambles around him, clutching their stomachs in tearful laughter.

“Tsukishima!” Kuroo cried, waving the napkin at him. “How could you do this to me!”

 

> _1800-GET-REKT  
>  Tsukishima xx_

 

“Go Fukurodani!” Tsukishima laughed, and ran out the door.

 

> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  did u give him ur number???
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  no, i’m still mad they thrashed you
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  THEY DID NOT THRASH US THEY BEAT US
> 
> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  It doesn’t make a difference, Bokuto. We still lost.
> 
> **Yamaguchi Tadashi**  
>  @tsukki do u realise u just gave up rock hard abs  
>  and god like thighs  
>  for bokuto  
>  ???
> 
> **Bokuto Koutaro**  
>  hey hey hey WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

 

Tsukishima shook his head as he began trekking home, knowing Bokuto wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about this encounter or the insults they threw his way with all the affection in the world. He would be a handful, and even more when he was drunk.

 

> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Tsukishima...  
>  Kenma just texted me for your details.
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  who?
> 
> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Nekoma’s starting setter.  
>  He says Kuroo won’t shut up about being played.
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  good one tsukki!!!
> 
> **Yamaguchi Tadashi**  
>  bokuto why are u so petty  
>  i am disappointed in u
> 
> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Apparently, Kuroo just took ten shots of tequila in a row.  
>  Please let me give him your number so Kenma will stop spamming me.  
>  Preferably before Kuroo dies of alcohol poisoning.
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  o ya that would be bad  
>  WE NEED TO BEAT THEM FIRST
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  well he /was/ hot
> 
> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Eleventh shot...
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  all right, all right, do it

 

Tsukishima gave a dry smile, waiting for the text that he knew was going to come any minute now. He hadn’t expected Kuroo to be so invested in him, not when there had been others at the bar who were just as good-looking and even more eager for a night of hot sex. It certainly did wonders for his ego, knowing he'd left an impression on the volleyball player no-one else could match. 

 

> **[Unknown 7:32PM]**  
>  Well playwd tsukiahima. Yoyll havw to teafh me your ways.

 

Tsukishima snorted at the almost illegible text. Didn’t anyone ever teach Kuroo not to text drunk? 

 

> **[Tsukishima Kei 7:33PM]**  
>  it’ll cost you a filet mignon this time
> 
> **[Kuroo Tetsurou 7:34pm]**  
>  Daeling you rwally do have expenaive tastws
> 
> **[Tsukishima Kei 7:34PM]**  
>  and it seems you are one of them
> 
> **[Kuroo Tetsurou 7:35PM]**  
>  ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
> 
> **[Kuroo Tetsurou 7:36PM]**  
>  Im hunna make you the besr waffled EVER

 

.

 

> **Akaashi Keiji**  
>  Kenma says Kuroo is annoying the team again.  
>  He’s drunk and can’t stop crying about the pretty blond.
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou**  
>  lmao lammeeeee
> 
> **Yamaguchi Tadashi**  
>  last month u cried bc u thought akaashi’s face proved god’s existence
> 
> **Tsukishima Kei**  
>  LMAOOO


End file.
